Birthdays and Aging

[Sir GTF]

Maybe I'm the odd one here, but does anyone else just get needlessly depressed around his/her birthday?  For about a decade now, I've loathed this annual remembrance of the beginning of my meager existence, forever cursing its inevitable coming.  I know it's futile to even do that, but I feel compelled to.  Clearly, I do not age gracefully, but I am technically still young despite what my tastes and mannerisms imply, so such displeasure, as far as I understand, is unusual.  Is this really so?  Am I the strange one?  Not celebrating is one thing, you grow out of that after 10 or so- but to get depressed by all normal definitions of the word...

I know not everyone ages gracefully, many of my elders get rather pissy about it, but the difference is that they're of course 60 years older than me.  Maybe this is just another one of my old man habits: the young relish their yearly notch on the wall but as they accumulate too many, they grow sick of having scratch another and dread having to add the next.  I wonder this as my own looms ever closer, a mere 2 weeks away.  So I ask, how do you all feel about your birthdays and your inescapable aging?  Come on, prove that I'm not crazy.

[I Fell In Love With Judas, then I got Herpes]

No, see, the good part of birthdays at my age (1993 represent, I guess...) is that as you go up in the numbers people take you more and more seriously and the people around you tend to lose some of the faggotry that gets annoying after awhile. I know that some people tend to get depressed as they get older since a lot of society (or, at least, modern culture) is very youth-centric, but as the 1980s generation starts to get older some of that is changing with it. I presume as you get older the perspectives change, but there's really no harm in it. A year of experiences has past; that does not necessarily imply the next will somehow fail to measure up to the previous year's.

[Sir GTF]

I should probably mention I'm barely into the 20s, not even halfway through.  I don't have accumulated years of life experience and memories to get wistful over and I'm still well in the fishing pool for what society considers a "strong young man" and worth hiring.  I've been at the age where people take you seriously (instead of as a dumbass kid) for a while- was labeled as a "know nothing teen" now and then, but otherwise expected to be a responsible adult.  I'm past the disrespected youth phase but I'm very well before the nostalgic aged phase. 

But I'm constantly mistaken for being far older than I am- granted I skipped high school and went to college instead so that difference I can understand, "he's in college so surely he's at least x years" it's not like they would expect I was barely 16 at the time and finishing my Associates.  That I understand, but casual acquaintances at "the office" tack on anywhere between 5-8 years onto my real age, as do random people I strike up conversations with when out shopping.  They all say I seem so much older, which basically says I'm already an old man to everyone.  My hair already going really gray and receding doesn't make me feel any better.

[Celice]

Well... do you understand that you're not so old?  If you just keep letting everything else in the world tell you you're old and believe it, you'll be old.  There's a large difference from accepting their perceptions over your own, and knowing better.

[Foxy-Woxy The Sandwich Scout]

It's not so much aging I'm afraid of, but rather, leaving my past behind. I have something of a fear of for "the future," and often find myself engaging in activities I enjoyed when I was younger. I like to play older video games that I liked as a kid, and generally don't play the new stuff so much. For every birthday, it's another year since I moved to Vermont, or went to Chicago when I was little. I'm afraid of replacing those memories with new ones, so I avoid what could be great experiences in favor of what I already know were great experiences.

Birthdays used to be fun, but now I have to admit that I fear them.

[Superbus]

I've learned that with every negative that comes with aging, another positive comes around that makes the experience a lot easier to cope with, and even can make it enjoyable.

I'll be 28 in May. I have a full time job that I spend a lot of time working at, and because of said job, my second career has suffered, possibly for good, because of the time I'm putting in, but I can also do whatever the fuck I want once my job is over. My body feels different as well; whereas before, I could have a period of inactivity and come right back, now, if I get out of shape, it takes a lot of time to get into shape again to the point where I have gained some weight since my job started last February. In short, for awhile, I was falling into a sort of mendacity that a lot of people my age fall into, and my initial happiness as well as my waistline have been made to pay for that.

But I'm also about to settle down with the woman I love, I make very good money (even if professional hockey is drying up a bit for me; the semi-pro leagues are more hassle than they're worth), I'm totally free to do whatever the fuck I want to do, and even better, due to what I've done in my life so far, I'm a storehouse of experiences and advice for my friends, most of whom are younger than I am. With age comes experience, and I make a lot less stupid mistakes than I used to in the past.

Do I sometimes wish I could go back to the way things were for me? Yes and no. As a kid I was more ignorant and innocent, and therefore more blissful, but I also didn't like high school or the politics that came with it at all. I could go back to awesome times in my life like 2001 (pre-9/11) and 2003, but I also know I was still enlisted at that time, and not in a good state mentally, and that 2000 and 2002 Arabian cruises were coming as well to balance things out. I could go back to school in 2005 (where I did practically nothing but sleep through class and ref), but I look back to entries on Livejournal from those times and I really wasn't as happy as I think I was. I forget the term for what I feel, but there's a term that describes a look back at an era that is overly sweet but forgets the other details that balanced things out and make you forget that you might have been less happy than you think you were. The best example I can think of this is looks back at pop culture from the 50s, and the dawn of TV, Bobby Socks, drive in movies and malted milkshakes which conveniently forgets things like McCarthyism, the Korean war and the beginning of Vietnam, the rise of J. Edgar Hoover, and all the other bullshit that was going on at that time.

In short, while I still dread the milestones ahead of me - 30 is way too close for my liking - I know that I also still look up to my elders, and would like to be living like them when I get older. So it's not so bad.

[camus the dark knight]

To be honest I don't think or care about it, when I am asked my age I normally have to give a thought before going "oh yeah". I often forget my birthday every year as well, unless I see something saying it's Independence Day (I was born on July 4th) or someone actually say "Happy Birthday" or something.  So it's never been much of an issue. I mean back when I was like 4 and 5 it was exciting, but at about 12 I didn't really care much anymore.

[St. Pius X]

There is no connection between aging and my birthday for me. Since I have found a timeless ideology that can actually work, aging doesn't matter to me. As for my personal treatment of my birthday, owing to circumstances I feel unnecessary to enumerate here, I grew out of the materialism birthdays are usually about and simply didn't care about it. However, owing to yet again an unexpected development(a very recent, about 5 months ago), a renewed appreciation of my birthday was fostered due to its very close proximity Christmas...and because that on that said day __ years ago I was born.

[Sir GTF]

I forget the term for what I feel, but there's a term that describes a look back at an era that is overly sweet but forgets the other details that balanced things out and make you forget that you might have been less happy than you think you were. The best example I can think of this is looks back at pop culture from the 50s, and the dawn of TV, Bobby Socks, drive in movies and malted milkshakes which conveniently forgets things like McCarthyism, the Korean war and the beginning of Vietnam, the rise of J. Edgar Hoover, and all the other bullshit that was going on at that time.

I believe the term you are looking for is to "look through rose-colored glasses". 

[Hinatalope]

For me, after the big milestones, namely 18 and 21 (and to an extent "sweet" 16 if one wants to count that), birthdays just seem to lose their luster for me. I'm constantly mistaken for being younger than I am, so being able to say I'm legally an adult and all that entails has actually been a perk for me, if only so people would actually take me seriously though it only partly works >.>. I haven't had any real big parties or anything since I was a kid, so it's come to be mostly just another day, except with a dinner out and cake with candles. It's pleasantly surprising to see who actually remembers my birthday, though it also stings when the people closest to me don't remember or don't care enough to acknowledge it (like my brother). But I'm sure as I accumulate more years, I won't WANT people to remember, so I suppose I'm getting a head start in that regard.

I suppose in a way I do actually relish getting older due to said assumption of me being younger, as well as more freedom and independence attached theoretically, anyway. I do admit I still haven't accumulated all that much life experience yet (to the point where I can still be somewhat naive), so I can't really say much on that. But I'm glad to have found a man I can see myself spending the rest of my life with...on my first try at that.

I believe the term you are looking for is to "look through rose-colored glasses". 

Huh, the term that came to my mind is nostalgia. But that works too.

[Shadow Slayer]

For me my einteenth wasn't anything special, I had a graduation party the same day (yay parents being lazy) and well I had some fun, but nothing to fancy. So birthdays have been meh since 11 or 13.

[quanta]

forget the term for what I feel, but there's a term that describes a look back at an era that is overly sweet but forgets the other details that balanced things out and make you forget that you might have been less happy than you think you were. The best example I can think of this is looks back at pop culture from the 50s, and the dawn of TV, Bobby Socks, drive in movies and malted milkshakes which conveniently forgets things like McCarthyism, the Korean war and the beginning of Vietnam, the rise of J. Edgar Hoover, and all the other bullshit that was going on at that time.

Or maybe the literary term, elegiac? probably not what you were thinking and it isn't exactly what you describe, but it makes sense to me considering the context... and I likes vocabs

But yeah, on the original topic, I don't really like my own birthday, it has this nasty habit of reminding me of how pathetically little I've actually accomplished in my life (and I know I'm hardly alone in a lack of accomplishments considering my age group (18-21), but that doesn't help), not to mention I don't think that my birth is some important or significant event. I much prefer to think of it as being just another day.

edit: not to mention an elegiac look at things is really only a particular form of nostalgia, in the sense that it means you tend to discount the positive aspects of the present as being inferior to the past and not just incorrectly remember the past as being better than it was. God, I'm so full of fail

[darkchaz]

well, I get kind of depressed only on the "special birthdays" like 20, 25 (this one was kind of shocking), 30 and so on... they make you think, "bad" thing

[Ya know, your avatar looks like a retarded Mew upside down.]

I dunno if I'm old enough to get as morose as the rest of you.   I heard that 21 is the last birthday that you can really look forward to (As an American), which I'll be turning in two months, but I've never really taken my birthday seriously in a while, and don't exceptionally dread turning older in the future.  Of course I have the pleasure of looking several years younger than I actually am, and no fear of a receding hairline.

Plus, on my 21st, I'm gonna make myself look as young as possible and go buy some booze.  It'll be fun to fuck with the liquor store cashier.

[Shir Gold]

For me, birthdays are a bit depressing.  Maybe it's because I feel a little behind for my age: I don't have a boyfriend when my classmates already have husbands, I don't have a car, I don't have a major anymore, I don't have any outstanding accomplishments, etc.  Even though I'm only twenty-one, I feel old.  I run out of breath really easily now, I get lower back pains, and I have to take dietary supplements.   I guess another reason I get depressed about becoming older is because I fear the hardships of adulthood.  My house was almost foreclosed on during the last summer, and I now know what it's like to wake up in the morning wondering if you will have to live out on the streets the next day.  Luckily for my family, our house was sold and we got to move into another one.  However, I still fear that I will have to face the same problems again when I own a house. 

My hair already going really gray and receding doesn't make me feel any better.

Same here.

[Sardine]

Two things: Perspective and Memories.

I think it's easier for us "young people" (talking about people under 35, and really that doesn't classify as "old" in any aspect of the word) to think that we have been through a lot in our lifetimes. I think we need to occasionally get outside of ourselves and take a good look at the 60, 70 year olds who are still having the time of their lives. Have they been through a lot? Hell yeah.

I find on our birthdays, a lot of us seem to have this "mini mid-life crisis", where we look back, take the memories of our last year, and do either this "what am I doing with my life" or” I’m quite satisfied". What most of us forget is that we are relatively young, and we still have the ability to turn our life completely around.

I guess it's easier for me to say this since I’m consistently surrounded by people like a student in her 40's who was in the telephone business full time for 15 years, or a professor who was a former gang member, who have turn their lives around in pursuit of their dreams.

I know my 22nd birthday is going to pass more so of a whisper then the 21st and it'll probably suck for me. This year has been full of regrets and circular... experiences. Decisions that I’d seriously wish I didn't follow through. The people who know me know what I’m talking about. But what's the point in wallowing in regret of what you've done? What's the point in staying stuck in your memories, remembering only good things to comfort and blind you to right now?

To answer the question more directly, I would be lying if I said I didn't become more...introverted then normal on my birthday, but it is a day, so I just move through it like a normal day, and occasionally people remind me that it was my birthday.

Aging?? That's actually something I’m looking forward to. Car insurance drops again at 25, I can actually rent a car without surcharges then, and to be grossly honest; I can actually start dating "seriously" around that age. Granted the responsibilities of adulthood can sometime suck, (paying off student loans... bills... rent) but I would take that with the liberties of adulthood gladly then the confines of "blissful childhood".

[Crystal Shards]

I'm 18, turning 19 in late April, and the only depressing thing for me about my birthday is that most years I'm alone/most of my friends forget or don't care/something bad happens like I break my arm or get dumped/etc. Everyone builds this day up to be so special (just like Valentine's Day or Christmas) and I'm disappointed almost every year. In fact the only year I really feel was okay was last year, and that's because I had a boyfriend who actually gave a shit about me then.

Aging? Meh. I've talked to Chris about it a couple times, or at least my life in general, and we're both afraid I'm going to burn out by the time I get to be the age you are now, or Chris's age. I live and work like there's no tomorrow, and then the next day rolls around and I do it all over again. I don't relax; I don't know how to. I'm slowly learning though.

So, take it from someone who can't chill: chill. Relax. You'll be fine. So you'll be 27 instead of 26, or 25 instead of 24. That's only a number.

~Crystal