Nothing in Life is Easy

[Jeoniffella]

Maybe the problem is that I expected it to be easy and learned too late that is extremely challenging. The difficulty of life combined with the disapointment brought by major experience (love, work, friendship) keeps me up or makes me bury my head under the pillow.

[FE3_Player]

Life is hard for everyone in some way.  You are not alone on this.

[Brighton]

Just keep stepping outside your figurative comfort zone. You'll find your own path.

[arashisama without the decorative symbols. RANDOM ENOUGH?!]

Well, life isn't forever.

I mean, I applied for an audition, but didn't get invited. That would have been my one chance at superstardom, and I messed it up by being 25 pounds too heavy for Japanese entertainment. I'm going to have to do things the average way: study hard, find a cubicle job, die unknown... My, but that is so very depressing... And people wonder why a good chunk of my iPod is emo.

I think I learned earlier that life is never easy or fair; I just pushed others around to make up for it... even though their lives are probably no better overall. Actually, I'm working on a fanfic dedicated to showing how even the richest, most beautiful, most influential people lead imperfect lives...

[i am a raging faggot who loves big dicks]

Alright, ladies and gentlemen, I told you I was saving this spot. Why? Because I am a crafty motherfucker. I wanted you rats to have your curiosity piqued, so to speak. I wanted those of you who know what the fuck I'm gonna say to start giggling--and you bastards did, God love you for it. Have some popcorn, I'm just settling into my ass groove for a classic. No bricks will be left unshat, I promise you that. (Rhymes are free. Good rhymes cost extra.)

Now, I wanted the rest of you to do one of two things. The first, and most common, is for the whiners in the crowd (and I do call you a crowd, and I do call you whiners, among other, worse names) to start their collective lower lip a'quivering at the thought of Big Bad Blacky Wacky having his way with their nubile orifices. And that's good for me, and that's good for you. (Was it good for you? Really?) The second group are the more vocal whiners. The ones who think their opinion is going to change a god damn thing. They I invite to tickle my balls. I'd enjoy that (disclaimer: females of legal age only, thank you for your support). And it would have been a shame to drop a train on them without their tickling fingers being ready.

All of that above is irrelevant to the topic at hand, though may not be irrelevant to what's in your hands (squeeze harder, damn you!). I do believe today is a day for inspiration. A lot of it. More than I can personally provide, no matter how clusterfuckingly awesome I am. So throughout this inspirational piece I shall borrow words of wisdom from a man who needs no introduction to civilized folk and a thorough introduction to you lot:



Let me introduce to you rats the inimitable Douglas Anthony Mirabelli. "Doug" to his friends, but you'd best stand there in that faggoty white uniform and with your Harvard mouth extend the man some fucking courtesy, because you aren't his friend. Neither am I, but my faggoty white uniform's in the wash. The man is the former backup catcher of the Sox, pictured here with his bromantic partner-in-crime, Mr. Tim Wakefield. I have taken the liberty of borrowing from the man's daily diary to inspire you all to be almost as great as I am. Those excerpts shall be stored in quoteboxes; I wouldn't want to accidentially confuse my awesome with that other distinct flavor.



Let us begin...well, at the beginning. And by at the beginning, I in no way mean actually starting at the beginning. That would be fucking retarded; at least the first poster sort of made a half-assed attempt at self-analysis, if kind of getting a bit Kleboldish for my tastes. He (or she, even though we all know there are no girls on the interblags) found himself a "why," even if it kind of sucked. So we will begin at the inimitable whine of the post just north of mine, from somebody who is nineteen years old. From someone who is presumably an adult. From someone who should damned well be fucking old enough to know better.

7:05: Takes 40 naked cuts in front of a mirror.

7:07: Packs a duffel bag with 10 tank tops, 5 pairs of tight jeans, and no underwear. Announces "Dougie's going commando" to no one in particular.

7:08: Kills it.

7:09: Kills it again.

7:10: Calls Wake, tells him "Dougie's going deep tonight!" Wake says it's getting dusty in here. Dougie calls him a pantywaist.

Let me get this straight, ma'am. I'm occasionally befuddled by crazies, so you'll forgive me if I want to get this clear. You are bitch-and-moaning (new verb, thank me for it later) about...well, something I would assume you knew about beforehand, right? Your "chance at superstardom"? Surely it's not a secret about weight limits, yes? You were aware that such was a...how shall we say...non-negotiable term in that headfucked little industry, correct? (Make no mistake, it's headfucked and it's sickening and it's cruel and the pigs who profit from it should be dragged out of their fucking beds, thrown to the asphalt, and shot in the streets.)

I suppose it's understandable to be upset at such. "Bummed out," perhaps, in the vernacular of our resident Canadian's generation (and I will share with you all that I giggled a bit at the idea of Bus saying "bummed out," for what it's worth). I know that I often am. The last few weeks, for those that know me, have been such. Fell for perhaps my best friend, and fell quite hard. It has, by the way, resulted in a kinder, gentler Blacky Wacky--shut the fuck up, Julio, because I can hear you laughing all the way in a real country, god dammit. And in my attempt to land the girl--there's a fishing metaphor here that I'm magnificently ignoring, I thought you'd all like to know that--I fell on my face numerous times. To no avail. Results? Zero. Nada. Zilch. "Thank you for applying, for your resume was quite impressive, but we have chosen another candidate."

7:21: Drives to the airport. Uses the shoulder to bypass traffic. Flips the bird to drivers who make faces. Screams "Stay nancy, San Diego!" when someone honks at him.

7:38: Parks Escalade in front of terminal. Flips keys to airport police officer.

7:40: Passes through airport security. Refuses to remove 4" belt buckle for metal detector. Offers to show TSA his security wand.

Now, I won't pretend that such setbacks don't entirely suck. In fact, a man with a felching fetish might say that it sucks ass, a considerable quantity of it. Me, on the other hand--well, I'll say that it sucks (no felching fetish here, thank you), and had you left it at such I probably would not be feeling the need to dsmvwl--think about it, brightlights--you right now. But...really, now. The average way? The average way? Such fucking entitlement. It is amazing. The average way, oh no, the horror!

Please.

7:44: Calls Nomar's house. Asks for Mr. Hamm and hangs up.

7:55: Boards First Class to Logan. Orders five Sambucas and a meatball sub.

8:10: Plane takes off.

8:11: Dougie dials Tito on cell phone. Screams "Dougie's going deep tonight!" Tito shrieks, puts on a fourth layer of clothing.

8:12: Flight attendant asks Dougie to turn off cell phone. Dougie asks flight attendant to turn off her high beams.

8:19: Pilot turns off Fasten Seatbelts sign.

8:19:05: Dougie enters bathroom. Kills it.

I'd say I wasn't planning on tooting my own horn here, but that's a lie; my very existence is a fusillade of my own spherical brass and you all love it. Joking aside for a very brief moment, let me say in all frankness that I am quite likely smarter than you. I am quite likely more successful already in my field than the majority of FESSers shall be in theirs throughout their lifetimes. I am a very driven individual with a desire to succeed (or a fear of failure, most likely). And what do I do with this, exactly? Do I leap to the front of the pack, lording it over my peers as you, ma'am, so plainly long to do with the seven-card hand of genetics over others? 'Fraid not. I work. I bust ass. I put the nose to the grindstone, despite not really even giving two shits about what I do.

Profiteering off the genetic lottery is a sucker's game; it won't be that long before age adds sag and cellulite and those sad sacks (now "sacks" in a literal sense as well--am I right or am I right?) are left to fall back on what they laughably call wit. Seeing as how they're being vomited from a world where witlessness is a commodity...well, best hope that "superstardom" can buy silicone tits. Pfeh.

The "average" way is the only way. Nose-to-the-fucking-grindstone.

12:43: Calls Derek Lowe on Airfone, asks if Lowe is hung over. Tells Lowe he shaved Trinka's pubes into the shape of a D, asks Lowe if he's ever been with a woman having revenge sex.

12:45: Calls Hazel Mae, tells her to wear something low-cut tonight. Mae faints.

1:20: Calls David Wells on Airfone using Geoff Blum's Visa. Tells Wells to get his fat fucking ass in shape or he'll get a towel party.

1:34: Calls Remy on Airfone using Dewon Brazelton's MasterCard. Tells Remy to pick out some nice Game On! girls for a postgame party tonight.

1:36: Calls the flight attendant over, asks what's the biggest sopressata she's ever eaten.

I'm not borrowing lines from Mr. Mirabelli's daily travels simply for a laugh. Most of you are too clueless to get it. They are, if you will, an illustration of sorts. Nothing too serious, but the point remains: Mr. Mirabelli and those fortunate freaks like him are genetic oddities. They are granted the potential to become sharp enough to pick up a ninety-five mile per hour fastball and the potential to be strong enough to muscle the horsehide out of a major league ballpark. But that's all it is--potential. "What might be." Nothing more. How is that potential reached? Answer: by busting ass, by working hard. How did Brandon Boyd and the rest of his prog-rock cohorts get to be swimming in money? Answer: by busting ass, by working hard. How did Black Senator Jesus--I'm sorry, President-elect Barack Obama--get to the point where he could be considered for the highest office in the land, and win it? Answer: by being half-black, by busting ass, and by working hard.

And you have the sheer fucking chutzpah to whine that your particular genetic abnormalities--and your waistline--weren't enough to magically circumvent this? Weren't enough to get out of that terrible, terrible burden of busting ass like the rest of us? Really?

Pfeh.

2:03: Flight lands at O'Hare. Dougie commandeers cart for transporting disabled, drives through concourse at 25 mph. Stops at Sbarro, picks up 2 orders of chicken parm for second flight; stops at Borders, picks up Penthouse Letters.

2:12: Arrives at gate for Logan flight. Asks gate agent if she's ever heard of Josh Bard or Cla Meredith. Asks if she's ever heard of the Motherfucking 2004 World Champion Boston Red Sox. Dougie smiles.

2:14: Boards into first class.

2:15: Calls Ozzie Guillen on Airfone using Scott Linebrink's Diner's Club card. Thanks Ozzie for keeping AL championship seat warm, but Dougie can take it from here. Ozzie breaks into stream of Spanish curses. Dougie says, "Whatever, puta" and hangs up.

2:17: Calls Derek Lowe on Airfone using Josh Barfield's Carte Blanche card. Asks if Derek ever got a rusty trombone from Trinka. Hangs up. 

"Find a cubicle job." Why, perish the fucking thought, child! How dare the fates conspire to relegate that pretty head of yours to poking out of the prairie-dog farm in some office building! Quite frankly, ma'am, you should be thanking whatever deity you believe in--and yes, I did just say "fuck you" to the New Age polytheists, but that's OK, I'm sure Brother(?) Star-Flower-Hope-Wind knows just the god for that--that that's all you'll end up doing? Fuck, it's a cheap shot and I'm not terribly proud, but are you aware of the fucking mess there is in Korea right now for almost-pretty-enough girls? Didn't the San Francisco Crocknicle just run an article out on the Wrong Coast about it? And you are bitching about a cubicle job?

...

.....

.......

Y'know, fuck it. It's late and I'm tired and you make me want to vomit. I stopped giving a shit about making any sense a while ago. So let's head down the home stretch quick-like.

I could mock your complaints about "dying unknown," because the only people who die unknown are the people who didn't bust ass and didn't make a mark upon those around them (those who aspire to being "known" by millions are known by none in the end--how's that for a fuckin' aphorism?). I could mock how you think you are "represented" by your music; as a musician myself that one's kind of funny, and the obvious rip on modern emo is too easy to make (protip: go listen to some fucking Fugazi). I could mock how your lack of creativity drives you to write a fucking fanfic to express your jealous little ideas about those more arbitrarily "successful" than you are. But you know what? I kind of just did that, only in a hell of a lot fewer words than before.

If there were more than three people who didn't at least nod a little I'd be kind of shocked.

Anyway. I'll leave you lot with a bit more inspiration from Mr. Mirabelli:

3:27: Dougie wakes up from a nap and lets fly with a 10-second parm fart. He gets Penthouse Letters from his carry-on and heads to the lavatory, grabbing a Sambuca from the beverage cart on the way. Dougie hates courtesy flushes.

3:29: Dougie wonders where the fuck this small midwestern college is anyway.

3:30: Kills it.

3:38: Opens the lav door and demands high-quality toilet paper. Screams, "DOUGIE CAN'T CATCH WITH A HEMORRHOID!"

3:41: Lights a match.

3:42: Fire alarm goes off. Dougie is nonplussed.

3:43: Alarm disabled. Pilot leaves cockpit, asks, "Who the hell do you think you are?" Dougie nonchantly replies, "I'm a stud who hits bombs."

[Superbus]

Yikes.

I think I'm going to do the same thing. Holy shit.

EDIT: OK.

Shakugan, you're a child. An immature, faux-mature child that has absolutely no perspective on anything in life whatsoever. You have no idea of anything in the world around you, get all of your emotion from your so-called "emo" music, and just love feeling sorry for yourself.

I once took a screenshot of the forum where we keep reported posts. I did so because it was a solid stream of your name as the reporting party. Is this what you mean by "getting ahead at others' expense"?

You need an ass-kicking to get some perspective on life, kid.

[quanta]

In all seriousness, the best way to handle this is to...

[Black Knight]

Shakugan, you're a child. An immature, faux-mature child that has absolutely no perspective on anything in life whatsoever. You have no idea of anything in the world around you, get all of your emotion from your so-called "emo" music, and just love feeling sorry for yourself.

I once took a screenshot of the forum where we keep reported posts. I did so because it was a solid stream of your name as the reporting party. Is this what you mean by "getting ahead at others' expense"?

You need an ass-kicking to get some perspective on life, kid.

Everything you have said may be true. But that doesn’t matter when the fact remains that you're an Admin here, and this reflects very negatively on the board. Your job, in addition to running the site, is to encourage posting and user interaction on this forum (e.g. a place of discussion), and yet more often than not your posts are directed solely towards shutting people down. Perhaps you do it to show them a thing or two about the real world, perhaps you do it because you don't have a sense of belonging here. Regardless of motivation, on every other forum I've ever been a member of, the level of unprofessionalism and ill-intent demonstrated in your post would have only come from members, not staff, and in the case of any posts that had such malicious intent to exclude and lambaste a fellow member of the forum, a moderator actually stepped in to calm the situation down. Quite the opposite here, and in dozens of cases before this one.

It’s this kind of shit that scares people away from this forum, and although anyone is certainly allowed to voice whatever opinion they have (as demonstrated in this thread…), the plain and simple fact is that the only one in this thread who’s running the board is you, and you should know better.

This topic already has a given: Nothing in Life is Easy. Considering what everyone’s been seeing go on in other threads in this forum, the same is true for you too.  But things are a lot easier when we are able to lean on each other and know that we can depend on treatment at the bare minimum as equal human beings (something I would say is lacking in your post). Maybe not getting the part because you’re a little hefty isn’t the worst thing in the world, and you can still say that, but that’s no reason why we can’t help each other out and show that despite all that shit happening in the world out there and how many times you fuck up, you’re still welcome here. Even if you do bitch a lot.

[Crystal Shards]

I just want to say that just because someone is a member on staff doesn't mean they should censor themselves. It's the forums where the staff members do that are boring.

Just saying.

Also, I really don't have any comments. Some of the stuff people say is "hard"... Well I just want to punch them in the face for complaining about it. I'm not saying my life is that difficult, but... really? You've got to be kidding me.

[Superbus]

I have never in my life gotten anywhere - on this board or anywhere - by babying people.

I've had a lot of people that I've known over the years that came into the community younger - and dumber - than most of the people here. I didn't play with them; I taught them what our standards are, what is expected, and on cases like this, I've let them know just how immature and pampered they really are.

A lot of those people still thank me to this day for that. If they get it, then yay. If they don't, oh well. But I'm not going to sit here and go "oh you poor baby" because that doesn't do SHIT.

If I didn't think she could have learned something from my post, even if it's bitter medicine... I wouldn't have wasted my time.

[Pair of Ducks]

I'm not sure you're allowed to complain about the depressing unfairness of life and work the word "ipod" into the sentence.  I mean, srsly, it just ends up sounding like "Oh god, I'm not super-special and it turns out I might be a bit player after all!  I'll have to wallow in the comforts of my middle class life-style."

And, well, yeah. We're all bit players in the end.  I suppose you can weep for attention, or give up and resign to utter mediocrity... but that just seems to be a bit selfish and stupid.

I was going to say 'Bus could have said things without being quite as insulting, but I realized the point was to slap a little sense in and pointing out things calmly wouldn't have had the same effect.  So, uh, carry on.

[theshim is the shimiest shim of all the shims that ever shim]

I'm absolutely with Crystal on this one - being an admin doesn't mean you can't have an opinion, or share it.  We always pride ourselves on FESS being a community; this is 'Bus speaking as a member, not the admin.

Also, this is my take on it; ignore it or bash it as you will:

Life.  Is.  What.  You.  Make.  Of.  It.

This does not mean that crap doesn't happen, or that circumstances genuinely beyond your control will never kick you around.  This means that if and when life throws crap at you, it is up to you to choose how to deal with it.  Do you bury your head in the pillow?  Do you bemoan your miserable luck?  Do you say "the hell with it all"?

Or.  Do you take the crap as a challenge?  Do you decide to learn from your mistakes and overcome what life throws at you?

Happiness is not, not, NOT something that just walks up to you.  If you want to be happy, BE HAPPY.  The word "be" there is a VERB, goddamnit.  If you say "life's not fair, I'm just a bit-player anyway" - guess what?  YOU WILL BE A BIT-PLAYER.  If, on the other hand, you say "life's not fair, but what the hell, I'll give it my best shot" - then you may just make something of yourself and lead a fulfilling and happy life.

The choice is, in fact, yours.  It's something so many people do not realize.  There are people who are perceived as "successful" who are miserable beyond belief and people who may not have everything but are happy nonethefreakin'less.  It's up to you.

[Black Knight]

This isn't about censoring oneself or coddling people you disagree with. This is about dehumanizing comments in which one person tells another person (paraphrasing) "You are worthless, you know jack shit, everything you believe in is wrong, and you fit conveniently in this little box I made for you." There's a difference between saying "You're opinion is wrong," and "Everything you are is wrong."

This is relevant to the discussion because almost all problems come from this habit of seeing people as "definable", and in most of those cases "inferior". Whether from the small scale demonstrated here to the larger scales of prejudice and genocide. These conflicts occur because one side defines an entire groups of people in absolute terms. When we're already sure "what a person is", there's no longer any need for dialogue, discussion, or even argument. We stop listening, and we stop caring. And this makes life hard when you don't feel like you've got anything special about you, that you're "just another one of them".

I have a similar mindset to many people in this thread that complaining is worthless, and that the only one holding me back in any given situation is me. I can say I ain't beholden to no one but myself. But that's my opinion and lifestyle, and that's exactly why I fight against (not always successfully) judging people in such absolutist terms. This whole notion of accusing someone else's suffering as fraudulent because of its mundane nature is absurd; if that were the case only people in Zimbabwe can complain. People feel hurt sometimes. And if you throw away whatever concept you think you have of "relativism", everyone here can say they've felt hopeless or hurt at some point in their life too. So what if it's coming from some whiny well-off teenage girl in California who you're absolutely sure you've got exactly figured out. It's not your call to tell her "Actually, you're feeling this, and BTW you're a piece of shit," because for all you know, you could be dead-fucking-wrong.

It's admirable to want to help people; my approach is to let them muddle around on their own, some people choose to give a direct opinion: that's cool. And of course you're allowed to tell them whatever you want too, even if it's judgemental. But don't ever be deluded into thinking that it's somehow helpful for people to hear that they're worthless. 

[Crystal Shards]

Bus never said anything about her was wrong, only that she needed a different perspective. He also never called her inferior. IMMATURE, yes, SELF-CENTERED, yes, but nothing involving being of lesser material than anyone else. Where did he call her worthless again? I think you're delving too deeply into what you THINK Bus was saying, what you would LIKE for him to have said so that you have a point. But this is what Chris said, in "nice" terms:

"You have a lot of growing up to do. You don't really look at anything that's going on around you, and you don't have a sense of self. All you seem to do is wallow in self-pity.

In the staff forum you're one of the only people that ever report others, and I wonder what your intentions are.

You need a serious wake up call."

Where in that is he saying she is inferior?

Ohhh. That's right. Nowhere.

Stop trying to find trouble where there isn't any and grow up. Not everyone is going to pick daisies with you or let people wallow in their own problems like a lost child in a grocery store. He didn't call her stupid, didn't say she needed to go kill herself, or anything else. He just suggested she go out and get real-life experience instead of bitching about emo music and shit.

And he's fucking right.

[quanta]

This is relevant to the discussion because almost all problems come from this habit of seeing people as "definable", and in most of those cases "inferior". Whether from the small scale demonstrated here to the larger scales of prejudice and genocide. These conflicts occur because one side defines an entire groups of people in absolute terms. When we're already sure "what a person is", there's no longer any need for dialogue, discussion, or even argument. We stop listening, and we stop caring.

Blatantly untrue. The cause of many conflicts is much more than that (to the point where this can be utterly irrelevant).. If solving conflicts was as easy as simply discussing things reasonably and getting people to realign their views towards some near-perfect norm, the world would be a much different place.

Anyways, moving on, I'd say that just because nothing in life is easy doesn't mean life is bad. You have to choose to go out and do things and be willing to fail quite a bit. How many materials did Edison try to make a lightbulb? How many Grand Unified Theories have phycists tried then watched fail? Etc. Etc.

And I still stick to my first post... always look on the bright side of life. That doesn't mean be naive, it just means don't wallow in self-pity too long.

[arashisama without the decorative symbols. RANDOM ENOUGH?!]

Just thought I'd point out: Bus is as Bus does. I didn't take offense at that post.

But I was wondering: where did I write anything about "getting ahead at others' expense"? And what does reporting posts -- something everyone is obligated to do -- have to do with that?

On-topic:

the average way: study hard, find a cubicle job, die unknown... My, but that is so very depressing... And people wonder why a good chunk of my iPod is emo.

This part was meant to be slightly sarcastic, but I suppose my worded it poorly. That was a reality that has always been there.

There are people who are perceived as "successful" who are miserable beyond belief and people who may not have everything but are happy nonethefreakin'less.  It's up to you.

True. This is what usually call the "full moon"; even when the full moon looks so perfect, you only see one half of the story.

[i am a raging faggot who loves big dicks]

BAM, motherfuckers!

[Superbus]

Black Knight's post is so insipid and so devoid of any sort of understanding of what I said, and ignores the point SO blatantly as to only somewhat tie it to his own point that I'm not even going to address it beyond this. My point has been ignored, so will his.

But anyone that read Blacky Wacky's colourful post and didn't understand what he was saying? Just decided to get offended? Deserves to be ignored.

EDIT: I'm also getting a bit sick of having our activity problems beaten over my head everytime someone disagrees with something I say. This is both sides. If I am too leinient on someone, someone on the disciplinarian side says that this is why we lose members. If I'm too hard on someone, someone on the other side says THAT'S why we lose members. I think you're both wrong, and I know what I'm doing after five years.

[Jeffer]

Or maybe it's all because people make serious walls of text over nothing and everybody gets all serious and offended. Not very appealing to new people, I'd think.

[i am a raging faggot who loves big dicks]

I defy you to find any three consecutive sentences in that wall of text that were serious.